(Original post from @VykingMommy at everysecondisprecious.wordpress.com.)
So, just how perfect are you? Not as a mom or a dad, but as a person. Do you ever error, make mistakes, leave a mess, spill the milk or get upset? Hmmm, you sound like a human being. In fact, you sound like a child.
Note the clutter, this is my view as I type, and 90% of it was done by me or my husband…not the toddler. In fact, he’s sleeping quietly in the other room, resembling a perfect little angel.
So many times, as a parent, or any other human on this planet, we strive to be perfect at something, anything. I’m always disappointed I never accomplish that feat, but I keep trying. However, we want others to think we are. I’ve happily come to terms with the fact that I’m not, not perfect at ANYTHING, but again, I keep trying.
The facade that we display when we step outside our doors or allow others in, or to view us on social, may reflect perfection. Maybe we hope that’s what they see. Maybe we delete the horrible shots and only post the best, add a filter, and look flawless. Maybe we are upset but add a sparkle to our voice when we answer the phone. Maybe we’re a mess but others think we’ve got it all together. If this sounds like you, you’re in good, imperfect company!
When I began the jorney of motherhood, my goal was to take that little blank slate (a.k.a. the infant) and only write upon his heart and mind truth and things that he should learn. I did pretty well too, with only a few setbacks, which I stewed over and regretted. I never wanted him to hear a raised voice or anger or learn things he shouldn’t. Then reality hit. Yes, you can do your very, very best but please don’t beat yourself up if your best is not perfection.
After taking a deep breath and lots of pondering, I’ve come to realize how important it is for your child to witness and understand that his parents are, in fact, not perfect. Is that a foreign concept to many of us? It was to me. I thought parents were supposed to be perfect, when I was a kid. Maybe it had something to do with the famous ‘because I said so’ line that I just assumed that meant they knew it all and could do no wrong. But I vowed to bring more reality and truth to my son, to arm him with more as he prepares for life.
What I suggest is that you allow your children to see your faults, your weaknesses, your imperfections. When you teach them truth, bold and firm, they will see and know if you don’t live what you teach. They will correct you. Let them. And humbly thank them for their time, and let them humbly see you improve. Did you notice a word repeated? Yes, humbly accept correction. This way they are not confused, not raised by hypocrites. This way they witness a change of heart, change of behavior, and the right way to alter behavior, improve, apologize and make right a wrong.
This brings respect, patience, love, devotion and gratitude. Teach your children absolute truth then allow them to teach you. Be perfectly imperfect and raise a perfectly imperfect human being who knows how to change, learns humility young and empower them with the tools to be better.
Does this post matter? Septemeber is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. A humble parent, a loving parent, or one who is not, can make a change. Be calm, teach your child calm and correct coping tools to help them navigate life. Please, find help if needed. Don’t make a child suffer. Yes, a person can change. We can all improve. Protect, guide, teach a child and you embark upon work with an eternal purpose.
For help or more infomation, log on to http://www.preventchildabuse.org/